What good can I be.

Finally week 1 of intern comes to an end and it's a pretty new experience. 
But it got me thinking, like think? It's gonna be a long post. Meh. 

Sometimes, I wonder what I'm good at. Like, arts and stuff.
I used to think that I'm good at maths, till I met more geniuses out there.
I used to think that I'm musically talented because of my long music background, till I met those really pro people. 
I used to think so much of myself, till one day, I realised how small I was. 
I felt like a joke, like why was I so full of myself in the past. 
At that moment, I felt like I've done nothing good in my life, literally nothing, for myself. 
I feel so lousy and I realise how much protection I was given before I finished stepping out of my comfort zone.
I hadn't met the worst situations, that I can call it even worse than what others are experiencing and maybe that's why I'm so full of myself. 
Like, I've never been in that negative situation that makes me think that because I was good and that's why. What was I thinking man.

I want to be good in something so that I can start doing something I like, which possibly goes on for life.
But right now, at the moment, I don't even know what I'm good at.
Giving up my what-seems-to-have-took-up-my-most-of-my-life music background.
I was never good in studying and I had to struggle in order to get to where I am right now. 
Seems like I'm the burden to the family right now because of the 1001 things that are happening and I don't seem to be able to help.
Even during intern, I got thrown in between 2 departments and I had to juggle between these 2. I wasn't even given the chance to handle any important projects, I doubt I will get to actually in this coming months. 
How to know what good I am in? I don't want people to just say that I'm a good person.
It's like hello, there are much more good people all around the world, and why am I placed together with them when things they did as compared to me were so much more noble to be able to be known to the whole wide world. 
I want to be good, just in one specific area but I don't know how.
I probably needs to step out of this comfort zone but it's getting hard given the freedom I'm gonna have. 
It's like, we are all restricted as we get older. 
As we get older, we started to worry more and that stops us from doing things that we want to do because we start to know what are consequences and yes, that's the thing that is stopping me, stopping all of us, right now. 
I really think I need help but I don't know where to seek help.
I guess I might just get things like, 'you need to give yourself some me-time to think over what you want. '. Not that I don't believe in that but I really tried (that's why I'm here?) but I really don't know. Like total clueless.
I need help. I seem to be seeking help every time I'm here at this space. 
More interesting stuff next up I hope. HAHA
okbye.